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February 24, 2015

The Tower from the Wild Unknown

How can you tell the difference between running towards something good and nurturing, and running away from something that is just too challenging for you to face?

I have been living in a Tower moment for months – I felt it bearing down on me, standing at my shoulder, waiting. I submitted to it, or so I thought. I released everything from my life and attempted to start again. But still the feeling of chaos, of ripped up roots, hangs onto my heart. Still I feel like I’m running.

What if the Tower moment isn’t about abandoning ship and running off to calmer waters – but about sticking it out, seeing it through, following the current, and holding on for dear life to the things that have mattered?

I thought I was starting a new life for myself. I thought I needed to drop everything and escape in order to become the woman I want to be. I could almost taste her, she was so close. And then… when it all got pulled from under my feet, I realised that I was placing my power in the hands of another. Again. I was chasing after ready-made passion, chasing after a perfect happiness that could be found and kept and held onto forever.

February 10, 2015

What if the gods are just in my mind? What if human consciousnesses cannot connect in any discernible way? What if the connectivity of all things is true on a physical, literal level; but does not translate into an attainable mode of experience where humans can shed their ego and experience or influence the All directly?

Well, I would be back where I started. It would change nothing about my spiritual experiences, my core beliefs, or my commitment to reverence. And would I be losing anything, really?

At some core level, I am aware that my beliefs are largely naturalistic. My interpretations of divine experiences and magic are psychological. I think the archetypal realm is hugely important and powerful and transformative – but it is primarily or even exclusively located within the individual brain.

I have been pushing against this for months, for years. I came to Paganism originally because I didn’t want to embrace this worldview. I wanted magic, I wanted “real” gods who “really speak”; I wanted transcendental experiences that change me and my perceptions of reality forever.

What I ended up with was a spiritual practice that nurtures me creatively, that draws out my sense of devotion and awe. I discovered that celebrating the cycles of Cosmos and the mysterious depths of the psyche is even more rewarding than lighting candles and hoping silently in the dark for some greater revelation.

January 31, 2015


My life feels like it has been stripped back to its basics in these last few months. The season of Winter has seen me release more and more of what my life has been for the past few years. Now, at Imbolc, I feel almost completely empty. I am moving past the fear, the loneliness, the pain. I am striving for serenity and hope.

It seems fitting that tonight, on the eve of Imbolc, I will be performing my simplest Sabbat ritual to date. I’m not sure that it’s going to look like a ritual at all. I suspect that I will simply sit at the altar, and meditate, and talk. And I will listen to the deep silence of Cosmos, expecting no answer but the beating of my own heart.

Other years I have made St Bridget’s crosses and lit multitudes of candles and worked with Brigid. I have spoken lengthy poems and worked elaborate rituals. I have celebrated the return of light and life – the rebirth of Spring.

But this year, all of that would seem false and forced. I am most definitely sitting in the space before Spring, yearning for its time of manifestation. I am anxiously tending the seeds I have planted in the hard cold earth. But this does not feel like the time to be singing and dancing about it. It feels like a time to hold my own hand in silence and grieve, and hope, and pray.

January 29, 2015

libation to the gods

I have a lot of pretty theories about the gods.

Philosophically, I have talked myself into a belief that the gods we encounter in our imaginations – on the astral – are both products of our minds and something that transcends our psyches entirely. I see the archetypes as parts of our psyches that link our conscious minds to something greater – to deep, wide, overarching patterns of Cosmos. To the divine itself.

This means that when I talk to a god in my mind’s eye (the Otherworld) my philosophy tells me that I am talking to an unconscious fragment of myself making itself known through my conscious filter. But also that I am tapping into something much more universal.

But honestly? My experiences don’t necessarily back this up.

January 27, 2015

I started making prayer beads over a year ago, and I have been using them in my own spiritual practice ever since. I primarily use them for prayer to the Morrigan, and as a focus for the breath when I meditate on silence, but they are also wonderful for mantra meditation. I have also used my beads in magical workings, to raise energy, and to create sacred space.

On the Heart Story shop, I offer several different kinds of prayer beads for sale. All of these sets of beads are inspired by and dedicated to a particular deity. I started with beads for the Morrigan and Cernunnos, and have recently added designs for Gaia, Ganesha, and Kali.

This video showcases all of the prayer beads that are currently available. If you’re interested in a custom order, get it touch, and I’ll see if I can create something for you!

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Thank you again Áine. I very much enjoyed receiving the much needed direction and ideas you put forward in this 4-part reading. This has helped me think more deeply and and become more focused on what is important to me on my spiritual journey. Now for some action on my part and then I will be back to experience and enjoy some of your other spiritual mentoring :)
Áine's reading was insightful and meaningful. I could feel the love coming through in each carefully chosen word. What she had to say was true and real for my life and my situation, and I have made good use of her very concrete and helpful suggestions in moving forward in this situation. Sensitivity and a loving spirit know no physical distance or boundaries. I will surely be contacting Áine in the future. If you are thinking about having a reading done by her...please do not hesitate. A profound experience.
This reading was amazing! I absolutely love this format of tarot reading - this is a really unique service! I asked a question and then she did the initial reading which was very thorough. After I processed the first part of the reading, I emailed her back with thoughts and questions. This went on for 3 days! This reading really helped me with the issue because I was able to participate with the reading and bring my higher self into it as well. Áine really knows her stuff and offers a heartfelt reading that really helps you move back blockages and resistance. I highly recommend this reading for anyone for any issue or question!
This participatory reading has been incredibly helpful and inspiring. Áine has a true gift and she does indeed write for the heart, from the heart. She is also quite gracious when her querent is a bit forgetful. :) Thanks so much.
This is great! Nice readings, a lot of empathy and she really listens to your replies!
Áine's thoughts and interpretations were wonderfully apt, often spine-tinglingly so. And all her ideas and suggestions were extremely thought-provoking. ...But the best part of all was the ability to respond and continue the "conversation" process. It encouraged me to think more deeply about the cards drawn and to consider how this impacted on my original question. My thinking grew and evolved wonderfully over the three days and it was fantastic to be able to "talk" my ideas through with someone.
That is the kind of reading I like. Very down-to-earth advice. Thank you very much for the reading, Áine!